If you've found me, please let me know.

I’ve been trying to figure out who I am. I can tell you that when I stare at a room long enough, I’m nauseated at how disjointed everything looks - like a dollhouse with ugly furniture. I can tell you that I’ve been so tired lately, no matter how much sleep I get. There are thousands of worlds, universes even, inside of my mind, but I can’t tell you the names of the planets and the galaxies. I’m thinking of how I am, and I’m unsure of what the answer is. I’ve gotten terrible at articulating my thoughts, it seems. My words aren’t flowing. They’re stuck. I’m in a rut. These are my thoughts, but why do they feel so foreign? Where have I gone? I’ve hidden myself in a labyrinth with no end, but I wouldn’t be able to answer you if you asked me what I was hiding from. There are no monsters in my kingdom, but I still tremble in my dreams. If you’ve figured me out, or if you’ve found me, please let me know.

Pictures for thought.

Everything in this post makes me smile. What makes you smile?

Busy days.

Hello beautiful people!

I am so very sorry, I have been awful at posting. But, in my defense, I have been extremely busy these days. ...Even if I only have one follower...Does anyone even care about my posts?? Probably not. But it helps me with stress relief so SUCK IT UP.
Anyway, today is Tuesday. And BOY has it been a busy day, I didn't get home until about 8 because after school I had yoga club, then I had to pick up my sister and her friend, run to the friends house to pick up some clothes and do chores, drop them off back home then go all the way back to the high school for my LAST pep band game. (For a grade.)
When I did make it home, I spent the entire time managing my clubs and work schedule, emailing groups and teachers and finally doing homework and studying for tests tomorrow. GAH.
I have a big psychology test tomorrow...yay..

A while ago, my iPod broke and I finally sent it in to be repaired last week...I'm going through some serious withdrawal.
I have had no inspiration to write because all of my topics and poems are on THAT IPOD!!

Been looking forward to college a lot more lately...I've noticed myself thinking about Hamline more than Twin Cities....I don't know yet though, I just want out.
Life is stressful and tiring and purely lacking in any sort of enjoyment whatsoever.

EXCEPT:
I had TONS of fun this past weekend with my best friend...we had a sleepover during the snowstorm that hit, and had an EPIC snowball fight with some friends. It was a really great time and I just really love it when everyone gets along.
Yay friendship.

BUT then Tuesday came around and so did school...and reality hit home with work on Monday. Thank goodness for yoga.
Seriously guys, you should all try yoga. It's awesome.
I'll put that in my next list of steps to being happy!

Also, I had solo and ensemble last weekend, and my solo went really well! I am just happy to be done with it, though I loved loved loved the piece. (as hard as it was...)

...insert random pictures here.

Anywho. That's about it for tonight... Tomorrow is Wednesday, and I am not looking forward to it. I dislike Wednesdays...But the good news is, I'll be heading to the library after school to study and do homework, so until then!..

-Sof

Little Secrets - Passion Pit

"Little Secrets"

when I came down the dawn poured into me
I shook 'em up the walls came crumbling
my thin skin trembling with these salty wounds
my stolen gold inside the emperor's tomb

now painting rainbows on my ugly face
I built this cardboard neighborhood's disgrace
but I ascend and serve my feverish need
within the confines of such chemistry

let this be our little secret
no one needs to know we're feeling
higher and higher and higher
higher and higher and higher

but I feel alive, oh, I feel it in me
up and up we keep on climbing
higher and higher and higher
higher and higher and higher

my face blew up at such a casual sight
the smattered colors of ecstatic fright
the rush above me to oblivion
outlining wet sidewalks in halogen

have you ever felt so goddamn strong?
how come it takes some people so damn long
he turned to squeeze the lemon juice to rain
the citrus drawing out the scene in stains

mother, I can tell what you've been thinking
staring at the stars on your ceiling
thinking once there was a power that you were weilding
but now I've hit the mark,
stabbing at the dark
and I cannot help but ignore the people staring at my scars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScC_pi3PJ9k

Pictures for thought.

A little of everything. More.

Hello all! Happy Sunday!

I hope everyone had a fun and SAFE weekend! I know my weekend was lovely. I had many work meetings and now- a very very busy week coming up! My mother got knee surgery on Friday, and I was taking care of her all weekend, she's doing well!
Also, I had an awesome girl's night with my two best friends...and got to see my someone special on Saturday! <3 Homework was done today...of course.. And tomorrow I have an early morning band rehearsal for our concert in the evening! Go band!!

Hmm. The NHS boys swimming and diving team went to state this weekend! As far as I know (which apparently isn't very much) our divers did awesome!

More poetry and music up tomorrow, but for now, I need to sleep and get ready for a loooonnnngg Monday.

Sleep well everyone! Keep breathing!

-Sof

World Market. <3 yess.

True love.

A little of everything.

Hello beautiful people!
Thought I'd catch you all up with everything...I know it has been a while since I last posted.
WELL. I got a job teaching swimming lessons at the YMCA! It's really great! But, I still need to get a second job- to help pay for college.
Speaking of college! Over the weekend, I toured the University of Minnesota Twin Cities and Hamline University! LOVED them both!!
Hamline is small, but it has everything I am looking for...and a great program to help me get started!
U of M is also amazing! I love love LOVE the campus! It's big and urban...which is what I am looking for in a campus...but..their programs (while still great ones!) are not as established as the one I need like at Hamline.
It's cray cray.
My best friend Amber (see post about her) is going to the U of M. Which is still my first choice...
We will have to see how everything turns out!

Hmm, school is good! Not too stressful, though I am busy with tutoring and my other clubs. Plus work. So I haven't been getting much sleep...Because my writing keeps me up at night, and sometimes my mind doesn't shut up long enough to sleep. Does anyone feel like this sometimes??

This is a picture of me and my friend Carson. Carson and I are currently fighting about something so stupid and pointless it hardly makes any sense to talk about. He and I don't/didn't see eye to eye on some matters and communication was lost... I do still miss him.

This is one of my best friends, Sam Fellner. Sam is a very special girl, with a life-changing story. I'll talk more about her at a different date... She recently got a "pixie" haircut, and looks absolutely amazing! <3

That's all I really have to talk about tonight, I'll probs post some poems and quotations later, but right now I have to go do my homework and get gas in my car...

Keep breathing everyone, be safe and get some sleep! <3

-Sof